The Ex

The Ex visited this weekend. He was in Philly for business, and decided to stop by. Heh, stop by. (I guess when you live on the other side of the country, driving across the state in a company-paid rental car is nothing.) He looked good. He just earned his Masters from Stanford; between that and his degree from our alma mater, he's set to make waves. Still working for the same gov't defense contractor on stuff he can't talk about.

We chatted about his impending Southeast Asian tour - Singapore, Jakarta, Bali, Kuala Lumpur. When he moved out to Silicon Valley after college, I gave him the contact information for my aunt and uncle, so he won't be all alone. My family can show him around and help him settle in, until he gets acquainted with the area and finds his niche. It was a favor my aunt was doing, because she knew I cared a lot for him even though she didn't care for my ang moh (ex-)boyfriend. Gradually, however, the ice melted and he became the babysitter, the English translator, the incontestable 4th mahjong partner, the surrogate son. Now, 3 years later and after countless subtle attempts to persuade me he'd make a good husband (despite earlier doubts), they're taking him to the places near and dear to their hearts. I think it will be a great trip for him. My mum thinks it's downright disturbing. E is a little jealous, but he 'won' as far as he's concerned, so it doesn't matter.

We reminisced, of course, and laughed about all the stupid things we did. Fraternity stories, spring break at a beach house in Jersey with our posse of 8, timeless quotes and moments, etc. We didn't talk about other things, the memories between us that we remember vividly but know are moot to bring up. E held his own, despite not being in on a lot of the jokes and "remember when"s.

The strangest moment of the weekend must've been when the 3 of us - hubby, myself, and the Ex - were sitting around the dining table, sipping on mojitos, E surgically transplanting one of our plants into another pot, dirt everywhere, the Ex talking about work, cat sitting contentedly on his lap. I had a moment of "whoa", like in the movies where everything suddenly moved like molasses, as I looked at the two men and thought about the choices I made. The well-built, charismatic engineer, who held my hand through college and whom I trusted with my life, and the slender, quiet programmer, my emotional anchor who I promised to love and cherish, till death do us part. They are so similar, yet so different, in too many ways. I couldn't be more glad that our lives crossed paths, but some memories and people are better left in the past. I was so proud of E for being the bigger man and taking everything in stride, and happy that the Ex and I are still great friends in spite of the odds.

He left before dinner to head to the airport, joking about what a bore his first-class trip back to California would be. We said our goodbyes, and as soon as the door closed, I soothed hubby's ego a little before letting the weekend return to normal.

(E rox my sox.)